When talking about self-esteem, we often mix it up with self-love. While they both help us feel better about ourselves and our character, they’re based on different things.
Most people usually have a harder time building their self-love than self-esteem, but in the process of learning it, they can end up learning a bunch of amazing skills applicable to all areas of one’s life. Whether it’s related to problem-solving, time management or more practical skills like public speaking and people management, it gets easy when you believe in yourself.
So, what really is the difference between self-love and self-confidence?
Being self-confident in its core means to have trust in yourself, particularly your skills of engaging successfully with the world around you. A confident person is ready to face challenges, deal with difficult situations and seize opportunities that may arise. It’s also a person’s ability to take responsibility for its success, as well as failures. Confident people demonstrate integrity, they know what they deserve and they ask for it.
Self-esteem results in successful experiences, whether they’re job related or private, and it’s the same vice-versa - great experiences end up boosting our self-confidence so we can conquer everything the world places upon us.
Psychiatrist Neel Burton explains:
"People usually find it easier to build their self-confidence than their self-esteem, and, conflating one with the other, end up with a long list of abilities and achievements. Rather than facing up to their imperfections and failures, they hide them behind their certificates and prizes. But… a long list of abilities and achievements is neither sufficient nor necessary for healthy self-esteem. While people keep on working on their list in the hope that it might one day be long enough, they try to fill the emptiness inside them with status, income, possessions, relationships, sex, and so on."
When talking about confidence it’s hard not to mention courage as it is one of the main elements forming our self-esteem. While confidence happens in familiar, daily situations, courage takes over in the unknown, new and scary experiences. It can even be considered more important as it asks for greater personal strength and capabilities.
But, they don’t always go hand-in-hand and one does not necessarily include the other in all aspects of our life. Confidence is a fluid thing, while we can feel amazing giving out that speech in front of our colleagues, we may freeze when giving it in front of our friends. The same thing goes for different aspects of one’s life. Just because you feel confident giving a speech, it doesn’t mean you’ll feel good singing on stage.
Self-love by its meaning explains a feeling of the emotional value we feel towards ourselves, our work and ou relationships with others. While confidence is something we present outwards, self-love is something we feel deep inside and that reflects in our ability to feel good about ourselves. In a way, it facilitates the feeling of self-confidence and it can guide us through our lives and help us in tough times.
What’s important is to realize the importance of self-love in our life. It’s not always just loving yourself, but pushing to become a better person, friend, mother, sister and a parent.
In the end, both are equally important in our daily lives. From feeling better deep inside to showing it outwards, they’re here to help us grow and accomplish amazing things in life.